Announcements

This is going to be long but I have to get it off my chest.

I like my ILs, mostly because they live 800 miles away. MIL is okay, but my FIL, while a decent guy, is a know-it-all. They are honest people, maybe a little on the redneck side. After they visit or after we go down there, my DH, who is a sensitive, caring man, can't make noun-verb agreement for about a month. My mission in life is to keep him up here and away from them.

I know what they really think: They are preplexed at our lifestyle. They think I am too educated. (I have more education than their son.) They can't understand why I, a woman in her 40's, wasn't frantic to get married and why I'm not inhaling fertility drugs at lightening speed because cranking out little miracles is What You Are Supposed To Do.(TM)

They can't understand why a childless (to them) couple has a 3,000+ square foot house. The short answer? We can because we work hard and we didn't crank out four kids like they did. (And we won't be having any kids, thanks to my sterilization surgery, a fact that is NOTB.)

When they came to see our new house, my FIL was excessively critical. Mind you, I am low-key person. I don't care about status objects. We have a nice home because we are homebodies. I don't rub it in to anyone. But I could tell our house ate my FIL alive. He went around our first floor (which is as almost as big as their entire house) looking for something to criticize. He told me the builder had used "leftover pine" in places on our hardwood floor. (It's white oak, and it's part of the pattern.) When I told him thus, he wouldn't listen because he didn't want to. He insisted on taking me around the house and showing me all the "pine planks." I just shrugged.

More stories? I have a piece of furniture that has been in my family for 120 years. He looked at it hard, even on the inside, and tried to tell me several times he thought it was built in the 1970's. I told him my grandmother and mother both had to dust it when they were kids. Whatever, Dude.

Despite all this carping, I just found out they are coming next weekend. Oh, and they are bringing two other members of the clan along. I'm sure it's to show off our house and brag about it, even though the floors are defective and it's riddled with imperfections.

(Mind you, these are people who have lived in the same house for 26 years and they have never washed the windows. Sheesh. )

My DH is taking off on the Friday before they come. I thought about it, but then I said to myself, Fuck that shit. Let him get ready for them and if anything, I'll take a day off the Monday after they leave to celebrate getting my house back.

And here's my last secret of all: Next Saturday I'm going to have a terrible office emergency and I'm going to have to work. There are times when I'm thankful to work in IT, and this is one of them. So unfortunate, isn't it?

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